Sexual Issues and Sex Therapy

What is sex therapy?

Sex therapy is a specialized form of therapy designed to help those seeking understanding and resolution around a sexual problem they are experiencing.  Sex therapy can encompass a wide range of sexual topics, including sexual anxiety, difficulty achieving or maintaining arousal, challenges communciating with your sexual partner, and much more.  

The number one sexual problem that American couples face is inhibited sexual desire (ISD).  The second most common issue is differences between couples in sexual desire.  In addition to these common complaints there are also a number of issues that plague couples including painful intercourse, premature ejaculation, and erectile dysfunction.  What many people don’t know is that most sexual issues can be corrected in therapy and rarely require medication.  We will often recommend that you see your doctor to make sure that there aren’t any serious medical conditions that require treatment.  There are some cases where collaborating with your doctor can be helpful in addressing problems associated with hormone imbalances or even switching medications that may be interfering with healthy sexual functioning.

          Who issues can I get help with in sex therapy?

          In addition to building confidence and gaining effective communication skills, your therapist can also assist you in navigating a number of sexual problems.  These might include:

          • Difficulty getting or keeping an erection (erectile dysfunction)
          • Difficulty achieving orgasm
          • Distressing sexual thoughts
          • Compatibility differences in libido
          • Compatibility differences in the type of sex a couple both want
          • Changes in or lack of desire
          • Pain during sex or inability to enjoy sex
          • Changes to sex before/after childbirth
          • Changes to sex during menopause
          • Premature ejaculation
          • Unwanted sexual fetishes or fantasies

          What can I expect in a sex therapy session?

          Sex therapy differ greatly from person to person.  Much of the structure around your sessions will depend on the concerns you want to address, and the questions you are wanting answered.  In the initial session, you may talk about why you decided to schedule a sex therapy session.  Your therapist may help you define goals for therapy so that you are able to track progress and that it is clear to both of you what you are hoping to achieve in sex therapy. Your therapist will gather your sexual and relational history. This process of opening up can be challenging for many people that have never spoken to anyone about their sex life.  Remember that you are working with a skilled professional that can only be as helpful to you, as you are honest and authentic to him or her.  

          Sex therapy provides a safe space for you to analyze the sexual experiences you have had throughout your life, your current sexual experiences, and your hopes for future sexual expression.  In the same way that you attend to your physical health by eating well and exercising, sex therapy gives you the chance to be intentional in another crucial aspect of your overall health and well-being.  When sex and intimacy are unfulfilling, it can be a source of anxiety or emotional discomfort for both you and your partner.  Your therapist will work with you to address underlying factors such as stress, anxiety, trauma, or insecurities, that may be contributing to sexual dysfunction.

          In many cases, sexual problems may manifest during typical phases of life or during heavy stress.  Listed below are some common stressors or life events that can trigger or exacerbate a sexual problem:

          • Anxiety
          • Depression
          • Childbirth/child-rearing
          • Illness/disability/medical issue
          • Divorce
          • New marriage and blending a family
          • Sex-negativity or shame around sex
          • History of trauma
          • Stressful job requirements or job loss

          There are many reasons in addition to those listed above that can effect how we feel and respond sexually.  Many people assume that unwanted sexual changes are just a part of life they must learn to live with.  This is simply not true.  Sex therapy and couples therapy can help with all of these.

            Can I attend sex therapy alone?

            You can meet with your therapist alone in individual counseling or together with your partner in couples counseling.  Whatever your issue, if you’re in a relationship, it’s often advised to meet with your counselor as a couple.  Studies show that sex therapy is more effective when both partners are involved.

            If you are still unsure if sex therapy is for you, please reach out to our friendly staff today to schedule a brief phone consultation.