Can Our Marriage Survive Living Long Distance?

When my client confidently told me that long-distance relationships don’t work, he was speaking from a place of fear—and maybe even heartbreak. He and his wife were facing a decision that many couples fear: living apart for the sake of work. He was convinced that distance would mean the end of their marriage.

What he didn’t know was that my husband and I lived apart for seven years while raising four children—and not only did our marriage survive, it thrived.

Our Long-Distance Journey

When my husband accepted a position in China, I was terrified. How could I raise four kids alone? How would we stay connected from opposite sides of the world?

The first few months were tough. I had to step into roles I’d never handled alone before—fixing appliances, managing chaos, and learning how to function without my partner physically present. But as time went on, I discovered strength I didn’t know I had. I became more self-sufficient and clear about what truly mattered in life.

And surprisingly… our marriage grew stronger.

Rediscovering Connection

Every four weeks, my husband would come home—and every time, it felt like falling in love again. The distance forced us to value our time together. We didn’t waste energy on petty arguments or cold shoulders. We didn’t have the luxury of dragging out conflict—we resolved issues quickly and with intention.

Long distance made us more intentional in our love, more appreciative, and more connected than ever before.

What Helped Our Marriage Thrive

Even now, although my husband is no longer overseas, we continue to apply the same tools that sustained us during those years:

• Daily communication: Even a short check-in keeps us close.
• Gratitude and appreciation: Small thank-yous go a long way.
• Flirting: Yes—playful flirting keeps the romance alive (even if the kids roll their eyes).
• Shared routines: We plan, we talk, we date, and then we get back to work.
• Not taking ourselves too seriously: Laughter has been a constant in our relationship.

These things aren’t exclusive to long-distance couples—they’re essential in every marriage.

It’s Not About the Distance

To be clear, I’m not saying long-distance marriages are ideal. We regularly talk about what it would take to live more traditionally again. But what I’ve learned is this:

Love isn’t about location.
It’s about intention.

Whether you share the same address or are thousands of miles apart, your relationship depends on the effort you put into it. Learning how to love your partner—and choosing to act on that love—is what holds everything together.

If you’re facing time apart or already living long-distance, don’t assume your relationship is doomed. With the right mindset, open communication, and consistent love, it can work. In fact, it may even make your bond stronger.

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